So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
