Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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