what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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