So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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