she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
