He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
