I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
