new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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