You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
