so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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