PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize