just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
