I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
