i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
