hell yes lets make some ravioli
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
