Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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