i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
