Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
