Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize