3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
