I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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