theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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