Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
