No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize