Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize