What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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