For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
