Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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