Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
