I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
