Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize