Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
