Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize