break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
