I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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