oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
