I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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