you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
