I hate your face
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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