How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
