Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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