Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
