I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
