his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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