Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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