New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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