I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
