I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
