3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
