am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have already put on my inside pants.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize