i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
