Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Randomize
