I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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