so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize