she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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