I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
