So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
