I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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