he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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