oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
