I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
