"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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