I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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