New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
