It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
