i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
