Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
