is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
