So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
