I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
