I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
