Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
