I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
