Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
