I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When are your genitals available?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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