Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
