Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
