I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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