i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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