Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
