If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
youre lurking in front of me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
