Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
