im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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