margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
