And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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