She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
