She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
