p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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