After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
