i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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