is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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