apparently the secret to your success is patron
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can feel your judgement through the phone
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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