I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
