I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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